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They chose in advance to accept the consequences since they also knew in advance what consequences they would have to face.It works well to graph out what you want in spreadsheet form, so that each belief has a rule and each rule has consequences that can be clearly seen. Consequence – 1st Violation: Curfew will be an hour earlier for one week.When they learn that you are serious about enforcing the consequences, they’ll become serious about maturing. It is simply knowing how to live successfully within the boundaries we all have in life.Once your belief system is set, don’t undermine it by making exceptions.How and where the teen drives within those boundaries is up to them, as long as they follow other imposed boundaries, such as traffic laws.
As you develop boundaries, I encourage you to make it a family project.
Here’s how one of your beliefs in the system spreadsheet could look for a 13-year-old child. 2nd Violation: You’re grounded Friday and Saturday night for two weeks.
Belief – At age 13, we believe nothing good can happen after 11 p.m., and that on weekdays kids should be home earlier to encourage a good night’s rest for school. 3rd Violation: Curfew will be pm every night for a month.
Boundaries are only effective if they are known in advance.
Responsibility and a feeling of self-control begin with a child knowing and understanding the breadth of their choices within those boundaries.